Destination:Bora Bora

chuck norris only masturbates to pictures of chuck norris

Chuck Norris puts Viagra in his eyes so he can look hard

When Chuck Norris exercises, the machine gets stronger

Chuck Norris can speak Braille

Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands….. they are now just known as Islands

Chuck Norris’ sperm can penetrate 13 condoms, the birth control pill, a brick wall, and the 1975 Pittsburgh Steelers offensive line in order to impregnate a woman.

Chuck Norris, Vin Diesel and Arnold Schwarzenegger have all died and are in Heaven. Each of them hope to occupy the seat next to God. God asks Vin Diesel why he thinks he should have the seat and Vin replies, “I believe… I should have the seat because of the virtuosity in my toughness and pride.” Arnie says, “I believe… that I should be the one sitting next to you because of all my achievements.” God then turns to Chuck Norris, who replies with, “I believe… you are sitting in my seat.”

When george orwell wrote 1984, he left out one important detail: Big Brother is in fact chuck Norris.

DNA tests condcted on chuck norris indicate that he is, in fact, the father of mother nature. He doesnt pay child support because no body will tell him that he needs to pay it due to the fear of a roundhouse kick to the face

Chuch Norris Once walked into a resturant to order a delicous hamburger. The Waiter told chuck norris that they didnt have any more patties and told him to order something else…Chuck Norris roundhouse kick him, but missed so the blast of wind out of the roundhouse hit the waiter leaving him with a broken nose and collar bone.

Chuck norris once roundhouse kicked God so hard that he had a kid named Jesus.

chuck norris doesnt cut his grass, his grass cuts itself in fear of being roundhouse kicked by chuck norris

chuck norris once ordered a big mac at burger king…he got it

chuch norris once sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and incredible martial arts skill,moments after the deal chuck roundhouse kicked the devil and stole his soul back,the devil who respects irony forgave chuck and wasn’t mad,now they play poker every second wednesday of the month

chuck norris wanted to prove that defeating cancer wasn’t a big deal,so he smoked 3 packs of cigarette’s for 2 years and aquiring 6 different kinds of cancer,he got rid of the cancer by flexing for 30 minutes…beat that lance armstrong

chuck norris once was training with wolverine when one of his testicles was chopped off,its now known as jupitar

chuck norris once hit a baseball it later killed the dinosaurs

chuck norris once kicked a rock…its now known as the moon

there’s only one hand that beats a royal flush…chuck norris’ hand

chuck norris has such a good poker face in 2003 he won the national poker championship with a nine of clubs,two of hearts,a king of diamonds,a number six green uno card, and a get out of jail free monoply card

when chuck norris has sex with a man its not because he’s gay, its because he’s run out of women

chuck norris once roundhouse kicked a horse…its decendints are later known as a giraffe