Destination:Bora Bora

Chuck Norris has a name for his penis. Florida.

Chuck Norris is the Master Chief.

No one knows what Jesus was doing from age 12 to 30. But it is known that when he re-emerged, he had a beard and roundhouse kicked everyone in the Jewish Temple just cuz they pissed him off.

Chuck Norris doesn’t get kicked in the balls, his balls hit the kneecaps off of legs.

Chuck Norris raped a shark, who gave birth to Jaws. After the movie, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked his shark son for trying to eat a female with boobs, and unsuccessfully killing two male actors.

Hitler didnt comite suicide, Chuck norris round housed kicked him in the face and he bursted into flames..

God made the earth in 6 days, and chuck norris made god in 1 day.. haha god..

Vietnam agreed to peace with the united states, because they fould out they were planing on sending in Chuck norris..

chuck norris uses titanium toilets due to the fact that his healthy diet of nails produces canon shell terds propelled with the force of a sherman tank.

Chuck norris doesnt walk on the street the street walks under chuck norris

whyd the chicken cross the road?Cus chuck norris roundhouse kicked him in the face

When batman and superman have a fight chuck norris wins

one time a blind man stepped on chuck norris’ foot,the man could see, unfortunatly the last thing he saw was a roundhouse kick to the face.

What came first the chicken or the egg?chuck norris

Chuck norris had sex with an ape the result was evolution

when chuck norris kicks you it hurts……….Forever…….and ever……you know what?……..It hurts Infanity twice over……..

The titanic didnt hit an iceberg,Chuck norris wasnt invited on its maiden voyage…….so in retaliation he round house kicked the side of it……

Roses Are Red
Violets are Blue
Ypur Face is all Red
Cause Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kicked You

Chuck Norris calls the axis of evil, non-chucks

After the creation of jaws three, chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the coastline causing a great wave that engulfed the great shark thus killing it and destroying many parts of Asia. This wave was later referred to as the tsunami of December 2004. When interviewed in regards to the episode chuck responded “I killed the shark, he won’t be biting any one.”

Chuck Norris was once asked who he resembles more; his mother or his father. Chuck fearing people would find out he is the reincarnation of the lord Ganesh; roundhouse kicked every one in the room dead and mistakenly broke a mirror. (Refer to mirror joke)

Chuck Norris fears nothing except the mirror, but only if he is directly in front

Chuck Norris is A-Sexual

Chuck Norris once swallowed four midgets and shat out a NBA superstar. The superstar–now known as Vince Carter; gets roundhouse kicked every second monday for being gay.

Chuck Norris wrote the script for SawI and II while roundhouse kicking Spielberg and masturbating with his left hand while simultaneously reading an archie comic depicting Archie banging veronica.

Chuck Norris is the reason Michael jackson’s nose is so fucked… while petting Michaels monkey “Bubbles”, the animal bit Norris’s finger. Due to Norris’s super American—tear-resistant skin…the monkey subsequently imploded. Michael , loosing his only legal child size companion, attempted to hug Norris…Norris proceeded to roundhouse kick Michael for 231 days after which he granted Michael a day of child molestation. Once the day was up..norris proceeded to continue roundhouse Kicking michael in the face.

Chuck Norris once ploughed the entire American Mid-west Prairies with roundhouse kicks thus ending the great depression.

Chuck Norris’s Blood type is registered as “straight”.

Chuck Norris, being in New York at the time on 911; survived the deadly attack by roundhouse kicking his way through the rubble. Norris knows no fear.

50 Cent did not get shot 9 times. Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked him to the face 9 times.

The tsunamies of December 26th were not caused by a shift in the tectonic plates. Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the water.

Chuck Noriss’ urine is strong enough to melt a steel motar shot in 15 and a half minutes

Chuck Noriss gave Tommy Lee Hep.B. When Tommy asked why he did this, he said “because I’m Chuck Norris” and proceeded to round-house kick him in the face.

Chuck Norris introduced Rice to the Chinese