Destination:Bora Bora

Check this site me and my friend opened for our final school project

 

www.touchproject.net

 

Enjoy and subscribe to its’ RSS to get feeds!

http://users.telenet.be/kixx/

Well,

Destination:Jamaica was reached

The Next step?

 

Look above

 

 

 

 

עובדות אורי גלר!

www.delafranco.com/urig

 

Chuck Norris has a name for his penis. Florida.

Chuck Norris is the Master Chief.

No one knows what Jesus was doing from age 12 to 30. But it is known that when he re-emerged, he had a beard and roundhouse kicked everyone in the Jewish Temple just cuz they pissed him off.

Chuck Norris doesn’t get kicked in the balls, his balls hit the kneecaps off of legs.

Chuck Norris raped a shark, who gave birth to Jaws. After the movie, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked his shark son for trying to eat a female with boobs, and unsuccessfully killing two male actors.

Hitler didnt comite suicide, Chuck norris round housed kicked him in the face and he bursted into flames..

God made the earth in 6 days, and chuck norris made god in 1 day.. haha god..

Vietnam agreed to peace with the united states, because they fould out they were planing on sending in Chuck norris..

chuck norris uses titanium toilets due to the fact that his healthy diet of nails produces canon shell terds propelled with the force of a sherman tank.

Chuck norris doesnt walk on the street the street walks under chuck norris

whyd the chicken cross the road?Cus chuck norris roundhouse kicked him in the face

When batman and superman have a fight chuck norris wins

one time a blind man stepped on chuck norris’ foot,the man could see, unfortunatly the last thing he saw was a roundhouse kick to the face.

What came first the chicken or the egg?chuck norris

Chuck norris had sex with an ape the result was evolution

when chuck norris kicks you it hurts……….Forever…….and ever……you know what?……..It hurts Infanity twice over……..

The titanic didnt hit an iceberg,Chuck norris wasnt invited on its maiden voyage…….so in retaliation he round house kicked the side of it……

Roses Are Red
Violets are Blue
Ypur Face is all Red
Cause Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kicked You

Chuck Norris calls the axis of evil, non-chucks

After the creation of jaws three, chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the coastline causing a great wave that engulfed the great shark thus killing it and destroying many parts of Asia. This wave was later referred to as the tsunami of December 2004. When interviewed in regards to the episode chuck responded “I killed the shark, he won’t be biting any one.”

Chuck Norris was once asked who he resembles more; his mother or his father. Chuck fearing people would find out he is the reincarnation of the lord Ganesh; roundhouse kicked every one in the room dead and mistakenly broke a mirror. (Refer to mirror joke)

Chuck Norris fears nothing except the mirror, but only if he is directly in front

Chuck Norris is A-Sexual

Chuck Norris once swallowed four midgets and shat out a NBA superstar. The superstar–now known as Vince Carter; gets roundhouse kicked every second monday for being gay.

Chuck Norris wrote the script for SawI and II while roundhouse kicking Spielberg and masturbating with his left hand while simultaneously reading an archie comic depicting Archie banging veronica.

Chuck Norris is the reason Michael jackson’s nose is so fucked… while petting Michaels monkey “Bubbles”, the animal bit Norris’s finger. Due to Norris’s super American—tear-resistant skin…the monkey subsequently imploded. Michael , loosing his only legal child size companion, attempted to hug Norris…Norris proceeded to roundhouse kick Michael for 231 days after which he granted Michael a day of child molestation. Once the day was up..norris proceeded to continue roundhouse Kicking michael in the face.

Chuck Norris once ploughed the entire American Mid-west Prairies with roundhouse kicks thus ending the great depression.

Chuck Norris’s Blood type is registered as “straight”.

Chuck Norris, being in New York at the time on 911; survived the deadly attack by roundhouse kicking his way through the rubble. Norris knows no fear.

50 Cent did not get shot 9 times. Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked him to the face 9 times.

The tsunamies of December 26th were not caused by a shift in the tectonic plates. Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the water.

Chuck Noriss’ urine is strong enough to melt a steel motar shot in 15 and a half minutes

Chuck Noriss gave Tommy Lee Hep.B. When Tommy asked why he did this, he said “because I’m Chuck Norris” and proceeded to round-house kick him in the face.

Chuck Norris introduced Rice to the Chinese

Chuck Norris wears a live rattlesnake as a condom.

If you look at Chuck Norris while he is smiling, your

entire family will get AIDS.

Chuck Norris has an ongoing feud with the Keebler elves. It started when they stole his idea for putting a kitchen in a tree. While the elves now make subpar cookies in the tree, Chuck’s tree contains a fully functioning crystal meth lab.

The other day Chuck Norris and his girlfriend were sitting down watching the Texas Ranger when his girlfriend said, “How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood.”, there was a pause. Then Chuck Norris laughed a soft laugh when he put up his hand and made a tight fist and shoved it down his girlfriend’s thoat. He had his hand down her for a second when he jerkingly ripped it out with a fresh heart in his hand. He then said, “How dare you ryhme in the presents of Chuck Norris,” as he squished the bloody heart in his hand. Then he said, “Don’t fuck with Chuck.”

It was five years later when Chuck Norris realized the cruel dramatic irony of his girlfriend’s death, which he came to forget when the commercials ended and he got back to watching his show, so he began laughing and he laugh so hard it killed everyone within a five-hundred mile radius and causing the storm which started the second ice age.

Chuck Norris Doesnt tea bag he potato sacks

chuck norris invented canadians one day when he ran out of people to roundhouse kick

Chuck Norris can actually breath fire.

A man once asked Chuck Norris if his real name is “Charles”. Chuck Norris did not respond, he simply stared at him until he exploded.

In the back of the Guinness Book of World Records it states “All records are currently held by Chuck Norris, and the records listed in this book are only the records of those people who have come closest to Chuck Norris’s records.”

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

When Chuck Norris runs with scissors, other people get hurt.

God has nothing to do with the creation of the heavens and the earth, it was Chuck Norris’s roundhouse kick to the face of God that allowed him to create the heavens and the earth.

Chuck Norris was once walking along the Sahara Desert when he decided he needed shelter from the sun. So he stared at the sand until it melted into 2 ton blocks. He then made his shelter which we now call the Great Pyramids.

Adam and Eve never existed. What really happened, was that Chuck Norris sneezed and a human fetus emerged from his nose, this was the beginning of man.

Chuck Norris masterbates with a sledgehammer.

when he was a young man, chuck norris one crapped his pants. Seconds later, the poop was so frightened of an iminent roundhouse kick that it retreated back into his butthole.

Chuck norris was once the victim of a violent robbery, when the robber realized what he had done, he immediately killed himself

A lock of chuck norris’s beard is currently sold on ebay for 12 million dollars

After the cancellation of walker texas ranger, the crime rate in texas went up 200 percent

chuck norris is the current midget toss champion with a record toss of 79 feet.

chuck norris once killed an african elephant with his mind

chuck norris’s urine is more valuable the gold in many third world countries

chuck norris has never trimmed his beard, his hair follicles are to afraid to grow

chuck norris will never suffer from erectile disfunction due to the fact that his penis is permanently erect.

chuck norris can generate enough power with one roundhouse kick to solve all of the worlds energy problems.

 

chuck norris never gets sick because his white blood cells know karate

Chuck Norris once was playin a friendly game of golf with the pope. When Chuck shanked a ball into the bunker he began cursing. The pope said, “I will pray for you my son.” Norris proceeded to roundhouse kick him to the face stating that no one prays for Chuck Noris besides Chuck Norris, then he stole his wallet.

Chuck Norris walked down the street with a boner… There were no surviviors

When Chuck goes shark fishing, he uses only his beard to catch, kill, gut and cook the shark.

When chuck norris screws spencers mom spencer gets a roundhouse kick to the face

Chuck Norris went back in time too stop the Kennedy assassination. He deflected all of the bullets with his beard. JFK’s Head exploded out of sheer amazment.

before chuck norris got his liscence he was able to shoot a helicopter out of the sky with only a handgun from a moving vehicle.

chuck norris only masturbates to pictures of chuck norris

Chuck Norris puts Viagra in his eyes so he can look hard

When Chuck Norris exercises, the machine gets stronger

Chuck Norris can speak Braille

Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands….. they are now just known as Islands

Chuck Norris’ sperm can penetrate 13 condoms, the birth control pill, a brick wall, and the 1975 Pittsburgh Steelers offensive line in order to impregnate a woman.

Chuck Norris, Vin Diesel and Arnold Schwarzenegger have all died and are in Heaven. Each of them hope to occupy the seat next to God. God asks Vin Diesel why he thinks he should have the seat and Vin replies, “I believe… I should have the seat because of the virtuosity in my toughness and pride.” Arnie says, “I believe… that I should be the one sitting next to you because of all my achievements.” God then turns to Chuck Norris, who replies with, “I believe… you are sitting in my seat.”

When george orwell wrote 1984, he left out one important detail: Big Brother is in fact chuck Norris.

DNA tests condcted on chuck norris indicate that he is, in fact, the father of mother nature. He doesnt pay child support because no body will tell him that he needs to pay it due to the fear of a roundhouse kick to the face

Chuch Norris Once walked into a resturant to order a delicous hamburger. The Waiter told chuck norris that they didnt have any more patties and told him to order something else…Chuck Norris roundhouse kick him, but missed so the blast of wind out of the roundhouse hit the waiter leaving him with a broken nose and collar bone.

Chuck norris once roundhouse kicked God so hard that he had a kid named Jesus.

chuck norris doesnt cut his grass, his grass cuts itself in fear of being roundhouse kicked by chuck norris

chuck norris once ordered a big mac at burger king…he got it

chuch norris once sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and incredible martial arts skill,moments after the deal chuck roundhouse kicked the devil and stole his soul back,the devil who respects irony forgave chuck and wasn’t mad,now they play poker every second wednesday of the month

chuck norris wanted to prove that defeating cancer wasn’t a big deal,so he smoked 3 packs of cigarette’s for 2 years and aquiring 6 different kinds of cancer,he got rid of the cancer by flexing for 30 minutes…beat that lance armstrong

chuck norris once was training with wolverine when one of his testicles was chopped off,its now known as jupitar

chuck norris once hit a baseball it later killed the dinosaurs

chuck norris once kicked a rock…its now known as the moon

there’s only one hand that beats a royal flush…chuck norris’ hand

chuck norris has such a good poker face in 2003 he won the national poker championship with a nine of clubs,two of hearts,a king of diamonds,a number six green uno card, and a get out of jail free monoply card

when chuck norris has sex with a man its not because he’s gay, its because he’s run out of women

chuck norris once roundhouse kicked a horse…its decendints are later known as a giraffe